the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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