Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
