go do what you do best...puke behind churches
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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