Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
