Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
