I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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