Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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