...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
