Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Shame - the story of my life.
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