Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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