i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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