She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
