I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
