Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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