You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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