It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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