Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
