I skipped work to stalk him.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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