you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
