Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
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