What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
