I must be too annoying 4 u.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
