Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
