Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Randomize
