At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
