I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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