When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
