I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
