do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
