4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
