Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
i out mim tonsoeep
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