Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
