She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
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