I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
