is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
