let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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