He is an equal opportunity slut.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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