nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
