Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm just crazy horny about you
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
