Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
