apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I know her cup size but not her name....
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