no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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