I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
nutella sex= disaster
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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