Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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