Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My liver just broke up with me...
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
