I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Randomize
