somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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