Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
