Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
