$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
